During my teenage years, I always had friends who were somewhat bossy. I preferred people who knew exactly what they wanted, as they would make all the decisions, and hence, I could just tag along. I was the perfect example of an indecisive person.
So, how to overcome indecisiveness for good? The most effective way to stop being indecisive is by constantly making small decisions. This will train your mind to take decisions faster and stick with them. Over time, you will find it easier to make larger decisions without having to constantly question your own choices.
This article discusses the causes of indecisiveness and presents you with easy and plausible solutions to become a strong and self-confident decision-maker.
What Causes Indecisiveness?
Much later in life, I realized that I preferred hanging out with people who would quickly decide what they wanted so that I didn’t have to. Their presence made things worse though, and it got so bad that I could not make even the smallest of decisions; what to eat, or what to watch on the TV.
I’d find it easier to just follow someone else’s decisions. I had to reflect on the issue since I knew it would significantly affect me when making big life decisions later on. I even question if I would ever be able to take such important decisions.
I think many people can relate to such a mindset. It may seem normal, but it isn’t!
The ability to make your own decisions is a crucial aspect of life. it forms your personality and makes you a strong, individual.
As a life coach, I meet so many people who have issues of indecisiveness. The most common problems they have to deal with include the following:
Lack of confidence in your abilities to decide
Blocking indecisiveness means having confidence in your own choices while being doubtful means that you lack confidence in your abilities.
Moreover, this can be explained scientifically through a condition known as imposter syndrome. This refers to a psychological pattern where someone continuously doubts their accomplishments, accompanied by internalized fear of other people seeing them as a “fraud.”
This condition affects almost every one of us at some point in our lives. It’s usually followed by stress, anxiety, and periods of self-doubt.
When you’re afraid that people will think that you are not capable of making an informed decision, you’ll find it easy to assume that someone else is better positioned to make the right decision. That is why I couldn’t decide what I wanted to eat or watch when I was younger.
Fear of being responsible for the outcome of your decision
Back then, I chose not to take any decision primarily because I feared my friends would find my decisions boring. I was afraid of the outcome and that things perhaps wouldn’t go as planned (of course, they rarely do).
Generally, there is nothing wrong with the fear of making the wrong decision or choice. It’s how we learn. But you first have to reach that level of understanding and acceptance, that’s the hard part!
Always thinking there is a better option out there
Besides fears of making the wrong decisions, I was also afraid of making mediocre decisions. There were always too many options, and the fear of not making the best choice weakened me.
Of course,e not making any decision at all can never be your best option. But once again, this has to be learned and well-understood. People make these wrong assumptions all the time, mainly because they are simply not aware of a better alternative.
Psychologists refer to such a situation as analysis paralysis. It’s the process of getting overwhelmed by overanalyzing and overthinking all of your decisions, and possible decisions.
How to Overcome Indecisiveness
Assess and act
No matter what type of decisions you make, you must acknowledge that life is very unpredictable. It is impossible to predict the future outcome of anything.
No one has any control over the outcome of the decisions or choices they make. This means that there is no need to overthink or overanalyze.
Of course, it is essential to look at possible outcomes of a choice or a decision before concluding it, but only to do a quick assessment of that outcome.
Will this decision help you move forward and improve your current situation or life at large? If the answer is yes, do it! If the answer is no, then don’t! It can really be that easy!
Don’t decide based on impulse
Here, the quick and effective pre-assessment is of importance! Always keep that in mind before making a decision. Never act on mere impulse alone.
Instead, embrace the process of decision making to make an informed decision. It’s okay to be quick when making a decision, but don’t react to your impulse only, especially if you have a record of making wrong decisions based on impulse.
Just a quick thought or two of the possible outcome can dramatically change and improve your life and make it much more balanced and sustainable.
Go with what scares you
Most people make their choices with the least struggle, risk, or conflict in mind because they lack faith in themselves. Mostly, such people end up making the wrong choices due to fear of failure.
It is advisable to go with the choice that scares you. The renowned author and New York Times bestseller Caroline Myss once said: “always go with the choice that scares you the most because that’s the one that is going to help you grow.”
Remember who you are trying to please
In most scenarios, your decisions are likely to affect not only yourself but other people as well. Relationship expert April Masini argues that “one of the reasons that people are indecisive is because they’re trying to please more than one person at the same time.”
When making a decision, it is crucial to understand your motivations and consider those who might get pleased or disappointed with your decision. Weighing these two outcomes will help you make a choice.
Practice making small decisions
Remember the saying, “Practice makes perfect”?
If you’re experiencing indecisiveness, you should try to eliminate it by practicing to make decisions on small stuff each and every day.
Try to make at least ten small but solid decisions every day. These could be based on the following questions:
- what am I going to have for lunch?
- should I meet up with my friends today?
- which route do I take to work today?
- what clothes am I going to wear tonight?
- should I send that job application?
- should I buy this book?
- do I bike to work today?
Practice making faster decisions on small things that come up daily. In no time, you’ll realize your confidence is slowly building up and the more small decisions you’ll be able to confidently make, the easier it’ll be to tackle those bigger decisions!
Use the tips in this article to overcome your indecisiveness, and you’ll experience a powerful mindset shift and confidence boost, guaranteed!
The ability to make your own decisions comes with peace of mind and heart, not to mention contentedness in life. All you have to do is to start by making that first tiny decision!